This Is Not Your TV Show

If you had a TV show Everyone would tune in to see you Because everyone gapes at you But this is not your TV show

If I were a ninja I would say you yank me out of hiding If I were Superman I would say Gold Kryptonite is just like crack If I were a painter You would try to buy my work to use in ads for biscuits This is not your TV show

If I were a boxer I would go spar in every gym under different names If I were an astronaut I would hit ignition early to escape you If I were the President I would make the FBI watch you – I would This is not your TV show

If I were one of the X-Men I would beg Arcade to hide me in the Murderworld Amusement Park If I played trumpet in my own night spot You would be the train blowing and rumbling through the walls of the club If I were a movie star I would call you a lousy motivation This is not your TV show

If I were Spider-Man I would say that I won’t have beers with you, Mysterio If I were a novelist I would make my readers hallucinate you then kill you If I were a cop on robbery-homicide I would make sure the captain gave me a partner, a partner This is not your TV show

If I were a Knight of the Table Round I would tell you I have but one liege If I were a revolutionary I would call you a demagogue and a poseur If I were a wizard I would find the spells to forget tempt me nightly This is not your TV show

If I were a frontier marshall I would want you to be glad we kept out of the papers If I were a samurai I would say you dull my blade and my heart If I were a riverboat pilot I would steer clear of your channel This is not your TV show

If we were in a motorcycle gang I would ride off from some road house one day and you would have no way to know where I might go This is not your TV show You don’t have a TV show

This poem was originally published on the blog, Underground Literary Adventures.