Pop Art Lover

When Anthony saw the poster he felt so moved that he wanted to steal it. The trouble was, it was behind glass. Behind glass, but in a coffee shop, on the community wall. It’s just that the shop was closed - what with it being 2 AM and all.

The shop was closed and Anthony only ever came out at night. Anthony was not a vampire or anything stupid like that. He did have an acute fear of daylight, though. Open spaces were not too great for him. Random interactions - bogus! Too many people generally? Not his favorite thing.

He had one or two good friends who pointed out to him that he could be robbed or mugged or made brutal sport of with the way that he hung around outside, alone, at night. Just sort of walking along through fairly empty streets. He did not feel afraid about this. He had no experience with being randomly brutalized. Random interaction with lots of people in the daylight - this he knew. This he hated.

So it seldom concerned him that he could not get into a coffee shop, but this poster… This poster blew his mind. It was just another band’s screenprint that it used to get itself some attention, that it hoped would make someone want to pay a little for their next show. It had been made on blue paper with black text, lots of black ink in the shapes of buildings and then a bright yellow outline around parts of the imagery and parts of the text.

Something about it made him want to be near it, to study it and, therefore, to want to smash the window and just walk in and take it. Anthony lived in the lamest little efficiency apartment you could imagine, and he had almost no desire for anything. He had a stack of books from the library, a little black and white television and a mattress. Besides four or five changes of clothes, that was it. Nothing on his walls.

The people who liked Anthony were some folks he’d known in high school that had very few other friends and really liked to come over and play Trivial Pursuit with him. Hardly anyone could beat him at the game, but they did sometimes and that was a big thrill. They’d ride him about his weird lifestyle but he didn’t care. They would also ask him to put something up on his barren walls but he said he didn’t want to.

Then he saw that poster and goddamn! That’s what his walls had been waiting for. This poster… this poster for The Whozzits or The FuckwitZ had made really caught his eye. He needed it.

What to do? What to do? He didn’t care much for society but he wouldn’t like jail either. He’d read in Mother Jones that folks have cameras everywhere anymore. Even if they didn’t catch him in the act, they might film the whole thing. He’d never committed a crime. It was a POSTER, for God’s sake.

But imagine coming back, if you’re Anthony, right? He has to come back sometime when people are actually there in the coffee shop. Probably there would be lots of folks around. What did he know about coming in between the breakfast and lunch rushes so that it would be nearly empty? Nothing. He didn’t go to these places.

And then imagine just walking in and taking something. He could ask someone for it, but they would probably tell him to come back after the date on the poster had passed. But who’s to say someone wouldn’t tape something to it before then? Or steal it? Or throw it out?

So he couldn’t ask… but what the hell would he do if someone said something to him as he took it without asking? The bulletin board was right there in the center of everything. No one would have any doubt about what he intended to do as soon as he pulled on the first push pin.

And then he’d feel guilty that he was not even a customer when he came in and took a poster from the community wall. Should he buy a cup of coffee first, suck it down, and then steal the poster? Or would that draw more attention to him.

No, he had to break in. He picked up a rock. He held it at the window. He steadied himself. Actually, he felt really calm now. He looked around and used his common sense. There weren’t any cameras hanging around on this doorway! It’s a coffee shop, not a bank! He looked in at his first home decoration, focused, got ready to throw the rock when,

There were two!

There were two posters there!

Once his eyes focused on the glass itself, not past the glass to the bulletin board inside, he saw two posters. Then, he realized, the second one was actually behind him. It was stapled to a lightpost outside but reflected in the glass - which, must, afterall, be illegal. If he took that one, he’d probably save the band from being fined. Right?

Anthony found his pocket knife in his pocket and walked to the lightpost across the street.