Written by Golem Radio
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2007 - the lessons so far

What have I learned so far in 2007?

  1. That everyone in Pennsylvania politics is infected with rabies. No, seriously. If you think I’m wrong, trust me those who don’t live here, that’s the only way you can possibly explain this shit.

  2. That you never make out with cute girls on New Year’s Eve if you forget to do your hair. Trust me, pictures will be posted later, but I looked seriously sweet on New Year’s Eve but I also forgot to do my hair because I’d been drinking and talking on the phone while dressing. Yes, that’s the reason I didn’t makeout with anyone. I must forget to do my hair on a lot of New Year’s Eves. Like, all of them..

  3. The Harrisburg Patriot-News is officially changing its name to The Harrisburg W.T.F.. For sure. After the payraise debacle, Sen. Armstrong losing in a primary (for God’s sake) and Denny O’Brien becoming the new Speaker of the House of Representatives here? Nothing else makes sense.

  4. That I’m not actually the coolest guy on Earth. I know… this surprised me, too, but at the gym tonight I saw a video of Bruce Springsteen performing “Fire” back when he was 26 or so. You’d have to see it, but he just manhandled the audience he drove them so crazy. So, yes, the Boss is in fact the coolest guy on Earth, but I’m a strong, strong second.

  5. That being a little hungover won’t necessarily prevent you from drawing pictures but you will fall on your face exhausted around 9:30. But it’s sort of cool anyway.

  6. That if I ever do actually run for political office, I will definitely issue signs that say “AWESOMENESS NOW!” like Carl had for his campaign.

  7. That I find myself the most funny when I don’t actually make sense if you think through what I say. For example, “You don’t actually have to be the Devil Pig of Corporate Greed to be the Devil Pig of Corporate Greed. You can just be the Devil Pig of Corporate Greed.”

  8. That exciting times call for the letter ‘W.’

  9. That New Jersey has candy. Lots of fucking candy. Dude.

  10. Not looking at social networking sites for 3 months is really hard. Even when you’ve only not been looking at them for 2 days.

  11. You don’t really need a Zen outlook or any actual accomplishments in life so long as they have the Silver Surfer on the big screen. No shit. I can die happy.

  12. That Billy Connolly makes me laugh my spleen out. OK, I knew this before 2007, but don’t tell anyone.

  13. That making a live action POWER PACK movie is a really good idea and anyone who disagrees can pretty much die right now.

  14. That my idea of a good night out is being the center of attention and credited for making some sort of event happen. OK, I was just reminded of this a couple times. Whatever.

  15. That they are making a Wonder Woman movie and its going to honor the tradition of lesbian filmmaking by sucking really badly and to the point of being unwatchable.

  16. That I’ll read books more when I get caught up on my comics. Pfft.

My guess is that 2007 will probably bring more important lessons, and I will share them with you tout de suite. That’s French, bitches. See, you learned something this year, too.